Our girlfriends are very important to us. We need our girlfriends to celebrate, laugh, and cry with and to get us through the bumps of life. We can talk with our girlfriends about things that we can’t talk with anyone else about. Life is better with girlfriends. Our friends give us gifts from their hearts and they come into our lives for a reason. Once that reason is fulfilled, however, it might be time to part ways and say goodbye.
Here are ten ways to know when it’s time to end a relationship with a friend.
- You don’t look forward to being with her or your stress level goes up when you plan a get-together.
- You don’t like the way you feel about yourself when you’re with her.
- You talk about the same things and it’s getting old/boring.
- You have other interests and she is not interested in them.
- You no longer share the same values.
- You run out of things to talk about.
- You find you’re arguing with her far too often.
- You feel that the reason she came into your life has been fulfilled.
- You don’t share the same objectives as to what you want out of the relationship (for example, one wants to be a constant companion and the other wants someone to go to the movies with once a month).
- You know in your heart that you are better off without her (and likely she is better off without you in her life).
Now that you’ve made your decision, how do you communicate to your friend that you no longer want to see her? You could gradually dilute the friendship and see her less often until she gets the hint, but the DWAG gals believe the best way is to have a conversation about it with your friend. There is no need to feel guilty and no one is “at fault.” Be honest, objective and—above all—loving. Be appreciative of the special friendship you had and choose to remember all the good times.
I (Deb) once had a friend named Linda who was single and lived by herself. We met at work and started getting together periodically for a glass of wine, a movie or a walk. We enjoyed each other’s company and had a lot in common. However, it quickly became apparent that Linda wanted more and more of my time. She was looking for a constant companion and I was not able to give her that. Linda told me how she was feeling and we decided that it would be in our mutual best interest if we ended the relationship. I give Linda a lot of credit for being honest with herself and with me.
Breaking up with a girlfriend can be as difficult and stressful as it is to break up a marriage. Give yourself time to grieve and be good to yourself.
Once you’ve parted company, be open to finding new friends. Try new things that get you around other women or join a new group. It can be just as difficult to start a new friendship as it is to end an old one. Be patient, positive and feel good about yourself. After all, it’s all part of our journey.