Julie

You just never know what might happen when you put women together in a moving vehicle. Taking a road trip with girlfriends was the subject of our last post and in this post we are sharing some of our Drink Wine and Giggle road trip adventures. We hope you’ll share your stories of adventure or misadventure too.

Julie’s Road Trip Giggles

The very first road trip Lynne and I took together was to meet Deb in Toledo, Ohio for a weekend of girlfriend fun. We left work with the car loaded down with luggage–we always bring too much, our healthy snack collection of fruit, crackers and water, gifts for our annual girlfriend gift exchange, books on tape along with tunes for the open road. The trip there was relatively uneventful other trying to find our way in the dark and arriving very late. It was the trip home that had that element of surprise and is forever seared in my memory.

We left on Sunday afternoon and before too long needed to fill up the gas tank. Not having planned for this we pulled into a gas station in a sketchy part of Ohio. Since I was driving it was my job to pump the gas. I’d never encountered a prepay gas station before and didn’t know how to convert my usual litre consumption into gallons. I made a guess–which was wrong and stood there pumping. What happened next was the scary part. A guy pulls up to the pump next to me and comes over and starts asking me questions about where I’m from, what I’m doing there. I panic, looking at Lynne sitting safely in the car watching as this guy continues to stand next to me. I flash my diamond ring telling him I’m married and then panic realizing that was a stupid thing to do. My miscalculation saves me as gas starts spurting out of the tank. He looks at my like I’m a nut case, I jump into the car, lock the doors and speed out of there until I felt we were not being followed. It makes me giggle to think about it now but believe me it felt scary at the time.

Lynne’s Road Trip Giggles

I have scant memories of Julie’s Toledo top-up terror as gas stations always put me in a state of reverie due to the fumes and recollections of my grandmother pulling away with the gas pump still in her tank. Fortunately, Julie had the presence of mind to remove the pump before peeling off. What I remember most about our Toledo road trip was the person who stuck a switchblade into the middle of the table at a karaoke bar that didn’t deter us from singing Paradise By The Dashboard Light. Generally, our road trips are not of the “Glowing like the metal on the edge of a knife” Thelma and Louise variety. Since Julie and I are both introverts and will eventually run out of things to say on a long trip, we often listen to self-development audio books that make us laugh as we repeat aloud, “I have a millionaire mind!”

Deb’s Road Trip Giggles

Long road trips have a way of uncovering our deepest thoughts, fears and desires. With a captive audience, windshield time with your girlfriends can be as therapeutic as an hour on your analyst’s couch. But from Julie and Lynne’s road trip giggles (and now mine as I write this), I can’t help wondering if their road trip itself was more traumatic than healing. At least they can giggle now about their adventures.

My road trip memory was when Lynne and I and one very sorry young man we worked with had to drive from Toronto to Vermont for a finance convention. Poor guy didn’t have a chance as Lynne and I (we only recently met and didn’t know that much about each other), belted out Melissa Etheridge songs like we were singing to a sold-out crowd at the Royal Alexandra Theatre. Unknown to me at the time, one of Lynne’s greatest passions is music, so that trip may have hit the high note that started our long-standing friendship.

Julie

The journey not the arrival matters. ~ T.S. Eliot

As summer approaches, thoughts of family road trips often come to mind when making vacation plans. Fond memories are shared of piling into a car filled to the brim with beach bags, shovels and pails, balls, picnic baskets and flotation devices, not to mention kids sitting hip to hip without even a seat belt between them.

Fast forward a few years–okay thirty or forty years–and not only have the members that make up your ‘family’ changed but the anticipation of a road trip might feel more like being sentenced to solitary confinement with everyone wired into their personal technology device. The shared excitement with blurts of “remember when…”, unbridled giggles and spontaneous road songs seem suddenly replaced by silence.

If you’re interested in turning your next road trip into more fun than a barrel full of monkeys then keep reading.

Recently, the Drink Wine and Giggle Gals had the pleasure of joining 100 other women for a weekend at the Ultimate Girls Getaway (UGG) in Quebec . We had a fabulous time with our new girlfriends and had an extra special time with about thirty of the women who made the six hour trip from Toronto together in a decked out “luxury” bus.

With lace panties and bras in varying cup sizes hanging from the windows, the Drink Wine and Giggle Gals headed down the highway in girlfriend style. Our bus driver Stuart was at the helm– with ears burning, while we were guided by a womanly crew who organized a bus trip complete with swag bags, yummy treats, live entertainment and even hot towel service! Our girlfriend journey was like Drink Wine and Giggle on steroids–an otherwise dreary bus ride turned into one laugh after another.

Our UGG bus ride was so much fun that we’re ready to plan our next Road Trip Girlfriend Style. Assuming you’d like to get in on the fun, we thought we’d share the essentials for a fun road trip with friends.

Here’s a list of six must do’s to have a blast on the road with friends in tow:

1. You’ll need to plan what you’re going to do while confined to close quarters. A plan is essential to make sure that you have a good mix of activities and to avoid leaving something critical behind. Don’t you hate when you forget that perfect driving CD?
2. Take a tip from the UGG bus crew and decorate the vehicle with a theme that ties to your trip. If you’re going to the beach try spraying the car with a coconut scent and hanging a pair of colorful flip-flops from the rear view mirror.
3. Plan one activity per hour of driving. I Spy was great when you were a kid but leave it behind and buckle up for some fun–Drink Wine and Giggle style. Consider one of the activities from our book like Girlfriend Q&A, The Opposite of a Bucket List is a…, A Night at the Improv or Brag Queens for fun girlfriend style.
4. Have a stash of women-friendly drinks and snacks ready. We don’t suggest having mimosas like we did on the UGG bus, however, mocktails like Virgin Caesars or non-alcoholic beer are fun alternatives to the usual soft drinks.
5. Build quiet time into your plan to allow your girlfriends time for napping, staring out the window or catching up on emails. The more introverted your girlfriends are, the more down time you’ll need to give them as they can find too much stimulation more stressful than fun.
6. Have plenty of music that suits your girlfriend mix. It’ll help pass that last hour or two that can seem to go on forever.

Check our next blog post for memories from our favourite road trips. Before you know it, we’ll all be there!

Deb

In our last post, we shared with you Grandma Show & Tell, the activity that you can do with your girlfriends to honor your grandma. I would like to tell you about my grandma. So pour a glass of wine and meet Mary Hiatt.

Mary Gertrude Stadler Hiatt was born on May 2, 1900 and lived until she passed of Congestive Heart Failure on Valentine’s Day in 1985. In keeping with how she lived her life, one of the last things she did was share her bouquet of roses she received from her son with her nursing home neighbors, directing the nurse on duty to give a rose to each patient.

When I was a young girl, she would ride the bus from her rented upstairs apartment on Ottawa Drive for three miles to our street in Toledo, Ohio. Together with my siblings we’d meet her bus at the end of Hanover Street and then we’d all walk across the street to pick up a dozen fresh doughnuts before going home.

As an annual event, she’d come to our house in late August to mend our clothes for the start of a school year. She’d sew buttons, hem dresses and patch pants and in the end, we’d have more clothes than there were school days. We’d stay at her house on the rare occasions when our parents were out for the evening and we’d put our clothes over the backs of her dining room chairs and watch The Lawrence Welk Show on black and white television before heading to bed (we were told the network shutdown after the show ended).

It wasn’t until I was an adult that I understood that her mother passed when she was just a young girl of 15 years old, leaving Mary the responsibility for helping to raise her two brothers and a sister. Her father was from Germany and didn’t speak much English.

After being proposed to several times—Mary would tell you that she collected diamond rings from her suitors—she married Russell Kenyon Hiatt. At 21, her first child, Pearl, was born and she went on to have seven more.  Her second child named Eileen passed away of spiral meningitis when she was only six months old and, because Mary had milk in her breasts and a compassion just as abundant, she went to the county hospital and nursed the underprivileged babies of all races that were in need, something that must have raised more than a few eyebrows in those days.

Then when she was 43, her husband, only two years her senior, never got up from the bed. It was a muscular disorder that kept him down for another 13 years and during that time, Mary took over his job as custodian at Park Congregational Church, a job that was physically challenging and typically done by a man. In addition to raising her eight children, Mary gave impeccable care to her bedridden husband—to the point of ironing his pajamas, hankies, and pillowcases—while keeping his spirit and dignity at the highest level.

In the 26 years that I knew her, I never heard Mary complain. Not once. Not ever. And even though she worked hard every day of her life, she never lost her sense of humor, her wit, or her ability to laugh at herself. She was a no-nonsense woman who would give you her honest opinion if you’d ask for it. She could size up a person quickly and decide their character. She was loyal to her friends and family. She was superstitious yet spiritual. She was always neatly dressed, wearing a touch of makeup, a dab of perfume and a pair of earrings to match her housedress.

When I think of Mary now, I mostly remember a woman who had a twinkle in her eye. When she laughed, she threw her head back and gave a good belly laugh. She’d end her laugh with a long ahhhhhhh while shaking her head back and forth. My dad could make her laugh that way.

She was shrewd, smart, compassionate, headstrong, well loved and respected and I still miss her very much. Mary Gertrude Stadler Hiatt was my maternal grandma.

Deb

Grandma Show & Tell is an opportunity for you and your girlfriends to get together to celebrate and honor Grandma. For many of us our grandmas have passed on, but if we’re lucky we have some wonderful memories to cherish. We invite you to take grandma—or rather the memories of her—to your next girlfriend get-together and share how your grandmother inspired you.

Before you go, you’ll want to collect as much of your grandma as you can. Find a quiet place and close your eyes and think of your grandmother. What comes to mind? Was she eccentric or down to earth? Was she The Beverly Hillbillies “Granny”, a glamorous “Glamma” or a no-nonsense “Nana?”

Did she keep your secrets that you’d never trust to anyone else, including your mother? Was she superstitious? Was she stern? What was your grandmother’s life like? Did she live through some challenging times? What traits did you get from her? What did she teach you?

As the image of your grandmother comes to mind, notice what is she wearing. What is the expression on her face? Is she smiling, frowning or does she have a look of determination? What smells come to mind? Is it apple pie or her favorite perfume?

If grandma were with you today, what would she tell you? Think about a decision that you are faced with today and ask yourself: What would grandma do?

Grandmothers tend to be blunt, wise, independent and strong but also loving and giving. Their lives are a window or porthole into the past that can’t be explained sufficiently in history books.  What was going on in the world when your grandma was in her prime of life?

Jot down as many memories as you can and look around for some photographs of your grandmother. If you’re lucky enough to have a keepsake—something that belonged to her and was passed down to you—pick it up. Feel the weight of it in your hands and imagine grandma with it.

Collect your notes, photographs and mementos of grandma and you’re ready to go to your next girlfriend get-together for an inspiring and heartfelt Grandma Show & Tell. Please feel free to share your memories with us…what words come to mind when you think of your grandmother?

In this post, we’ll focus on the positive, outlining the steps each of us have taken so that our lives are not quite so full of sit

Lynne

Lynne: Lucky for me I rarely watch television and am a Nervous Nelly so introducing more fidgeting into my day is a breeze. Since being exposed to the research on sitting, I stand up when I talk on the phone (it makes me sound more authoritative) and never sit at a bar. Nonetheless I often get engrossed in computer work and before I know it, I have lost track of time and my body has entered hibernation mode.

To combat hibernation I try to remember to set my smart phone to chime every half hour, and when the chime sounds—I picked a monkish bell tower chime—I get up to do something NEAT (non-exercise activity thermogenesis). I found an amazing ab exercise from Yo Elliott, so I’ll typically do ten reps of “Nature’s Corset” that will tighten both my ab and my pelvic floor kegel muscles and thus improve my love life—hey girlfriends, not sitting doesn’t have to be a bummer…:)

Deb

Deb: Whenever I talk on the phone, I pace, sometimes I even walk in circles. I also have conditioned myself to take the staircase instead of the elevator wherever I go. My condo is on the fifth floor and that is a lot of steps! But like, Lynne, I’m on the computer a lot. I have learned to take my computer and move around the house with it, changing my scenery as well as my seat. After Lynne’s research, I’ll move my computer to higher ground (top of a dresser or cabinet) so that I can stand and work. Maybe Starbucks should be paying attention to this and order high-top tables for their stores.

Julie

Julie: This one is a toughie for me whenever I’m working. I’ve noticed that it is becoming more and more common to ‘ping’ someone a question rather than picking up the phone or heaven forbid walking over to their office (who might be as close as next door). I try my best to avoid pinging and get up out of my chair and walk over and appear in someone’s doorway. They often look at me like I’m from another planet (or generation) but maybe I’ll ignite a Get Up, Stand Up trend. I also have to say that I hardly ever take the elevator as Deb’s “We’re taking the stairs” orders always pops into my head when I see an elevator. I just stood up and moved my computer to the kitchen counter!

There you have it: a few stand up tips from the Drink Wine and Giggle Gals. If you require further uplifting, Australian researchers have designed a cushion that will sound an alarm when it’s time to stand up…just call it a sit disturber.

Lynne

Stand up and take notice because according to the latest medical research sitting is the new nicotine—the “smoking bum” for a number of diseases. Sitting has been linked to diseases of inactivity including obesity and metabolic syndrome—a cluster of conditions that includes increased blood pressure, high blood sugar, excess body fat around the waist and abnormal cholesterol levels—as well as cardiovascular disease and certain cancers.

Discovery of the sitting disease is bad news for those of us who spend many hours a day sitting behind the wheel followed by sitting at a keyboard followed by sitting in front of the television. Even working out vigorously for an hour or more a day will not protect you from this butt-ugly reality. And women who are less likely to play sports or have active jobs experience more sitting down time than men.

How many hours per week do you think the average person sits?

a) twenty
b) thirty
c) forty
d) fifty
e) more than fifty

The correct answer based on a survey of over 6800 people is e—the average person spends 56 hours per week in a seated position. Watching television is the most inert and therefore the worst of all sedentary activities. According to researchers in Australia, each hour per day spent in front of a television after age 25 will shave 22 minutes off your life (even if you’re watching PBS or the Oprah Network).

Why is it so bad to take life sitting down? Simply put, our bodies have evolved over millions of years to enable almost constant physical activity. When we sit for extended periods of time we signal our bodies to shut down, just as our computer screens switch to power-save mode after a certain period of inactivity. Shutting down is fine if the purpose is restorative sleep, but when we sit our metabolism slows and muscles—especially the large muscles so important to good posture and freedom from back pain—weaken and tighten.

According to inactivity researchers (yes, inactivity is now a field of medical study):

• When we sit, the electrical activity in the legs and buttocks slows way down.
• Calorie burning slows to 1 calorie per minute.
• Enzymes in the blood that burn fat drop 90%.
• After two hours, good cholesterol levels can drop 20%.

How do inactivity researchers get their sedentary data? They have a tell-all tool…

The good news is that you don’t have to do much to stir your body out of a metabolic stupor. Fidgeting will keep your metabolism going as will puttering around the home. Simply standing up will burn three times as many calories as sitting, will fire up the muscles that maintain balance and will get blood flowing in a way that will make you more alert. Ernest Hemingway, Leonardo da Vinci and our good friend Ben Franklin worked standing up, and standing desks are used at Google, AOL and Facebook.

Inactivity researchers call standing, puttering and fidgeting NEAT or Non-Exercise Activity Thermogenesis. According to researchers at the University of Queensland, you should move “NEATly” every thirty minutes. If you are forced to sit for longer periods, you should make your movement when you stand up more sustained and vigorous. For example after a long meeting or confinement to a movie theatre, spend five minutes walking up and down stairs or go out for a walk.

When medical research presents us with a “sit load” of data prodding us to change our daily habits, girlfriends won’t sit idly by when we could stand up for each other and offer our support. The Drink Wine and Giggle Gals recommend an upright girlfriend gathering where you exchange tips on how to reduce your exposure to the sitting disease.

In our next post, Julie, Deb and I will share our strategies for giving ourselves the bum’s rush. Needless to say, after beginning to write this post in a seated position, I am now standing. Are you?

Lynne, Deb and I have confronted our fears by helping each other visualize a possible outcome that is more powerful than what our wild imagination wants us to believe.

Here are a few of the fears we have helped each other manage to chase away:

Julie

Julie: Making a dramatic change in my life to make room for the things that I love was a scary prospect. Deb and Lynne gave me the courage to take the steps necessary to have the life that I wanted. I no longer fear making changes that I know are in line with my passion. I now am excited by what may lie ahead.

Lynne

Lynne: For many years I had an overwhelming fear—a terror, really—of speaking in front of a group (more than two people constituted a group for me). In university, I would select courses to avoid public speaking and, as with most fears, avoiding what scared me made my life small (and mathematical—finance courses rarely involved presentations). One of my favorite quotes is from Anais Nin who said, “Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage.” I recently had the opportunity to be courageous and speak in front of a relatively large group with Deb and Julie on hand to offer their support and encouragement. Knowing there were at least two friendly faces in the audience went a long way to quell my pre-speech jitters (a glass of sauvignon blanc also quelled, but not nearly as much). I know I’m not a masterful speaker, but at least now I can say I have mastered my terror of public speaking.

Deb

Deb: I knew a long time ago even as a child that I wanted something more in my life than the people around me were settling for or had settled for. One of my first jobs was as a secretary to wealthy executives. I wanted a life that I imagined they had—nice homes, beautiful clothes, dinner parties…But, there was also a voice in my head that kept telling me that I wasn’t good enough to have that kind of life. It was like having a ‘good’ elf on one shoulder saying “you are meant for greater things—you can have it all” while the ‘bad’ elf  on the opposite shoulder stood shaking her head saying “that life is for other people, not for people like you.” Lynne and Julie always gave me encouragement, celebrated my successes and gave me the strength to knock the ‘bad’ elf off my shoulder.

We’d love for you to share with us the fears that you have overcome. Leave us a comment and inspire others at the same time.

Julie

To conquer fear is the beginning of wisdom. ~ Bertrand Russell

Fear conjures up images that are unique to each of us. What scares the pants off of you may not even give me goose bumps. What we fear will depend upon our thoughts, experiences and the situations we find ourselves in.

So what triggers your primal flight response? What makes you break out into a cold sweat? Often what we’re experiencing is anxiety but since we’re not psychologists we won’t split hairs and will use the word fear for simplicity. Here’s a list of some of the most common fears:

Fears also change over your lifetime. Hiding under the covers when you were a child because you were afraid of the dark may seem silly now and yet giving a presentation to the executive committee may have you shaking in your high heels and preferring to crawl under the board room table.

Deb

Deb remembers her first…
… time in a restaurant without adult supervision (with my friend Gwyn in 7^th grade. I had a BLT).
… time going to teen town (neighbor Chris was my date).
… time (which was also my last) going off the high diving board at the water park.
… car (dad’s Ford Falcon he sold to me for $200).
… car crash (pardon me for omitting details).
… kiss (Vicki and Gwyn held down Steve in kindergarten so I could kiss him).
… French kiss (Bob, chubby kid in 6^th grade. I thought I was going to puke).
… make-up (mom gave it to me for Christmas. I felt so grown up).
… period (Ground Hog’s Day. I was 12).
… record (“Dizzy” by Tommy Roe).
… concert (Seals and Crofts; went with Barb and her older sister).

Lynne

Lynne remembers her first…

…professional hockey game (Toronto Maple Leafs versus Minnesota North Stars with my dad—he took me to Smitty’s Pancake House after the game for buttermilk pancakes).
…job (picking cherries).
…kiss (Stephan, my next-door neighbor. I just wished he would stop so that we could play hockey on his driveway).
…restricted movie (American Gigolo).
…concert (Abba, Maple Leaf Gardens, 1979. Met Borje Salming of the Toronto Maple Leafs on the way home and got his autograph).
…car (a Chevy Chevette with a wicked Pioneer sound system).

Julie

Julie remembers her first…

…bus ride without parental supervision (at 13, my friend Nancy and I took a bus to shops).
…airplane trip (to Vancouver at age 17 to visit my grandparents with my friend Joyce).
…car (Chevrolet Camaro two-door in baby blue).
…job (Woolworth lunch counter – hated it except for making sundaes).
…clothing piece purchased (yellow angora sweater).

And, Our First together: Lynne, Julie and I saw Oprah for the first time on April 13!

Deb

Psychologists will tell you that the reason why we remember our “firsts” in life (our first car, the first time we kissed a boy, our first apartment, the first time we went to a new place) is because unique events slows down time while routine makes time go faster. The first time you do something, you are living in the moment, taking it all in, and it is different than anything you’ve ever done before so your mind is alert.

Most of our “firsts” come between the ages of 15 and 25 and that is why those years are so important to us for the rest of our lives. It is during this time that we seem to remember more because we are experiencing new things. As we get older, we tend to have set patterns or routines, which means fewer memories to look back on. This is why time feels like it goes faster the older we get.

In fact, there is a name for this phenomenon—it’s called the “reminiscent bump”—when a disproportionate number of memories come from adolescence.

My Firsts, is an activity where you and your girlfriends recall as many firsts in your lives that you can and then talk about the details of a few of your favorites. The final step is to create a new “first” with your girlfriends where you do something new that no one in your group has done before and see if you can slow time.

At your next get together, take out a sheet of paper and write My Firsts at the top. Then lists as many firsts as you can remember. It is not necessary to write the details for each memory—just list the event—as you will have a chance to verbally embellish later. Next, go around the room and have each girlfriend read her list of firsts, providing as many details as you can (or wish to share). As each girlfriend reads her list, see if the others in the room can recall their first of the same thing.

For the final step in My Firsts, collectively decide on a first that you can experience together. Go someplace new to create a new experience, a new memory that will slow down time and make you feel more alive and in the moment.

On Thursday’s post, we will give you our list of firsts and we’d love to hear about some of yours.